We’ve all experienced different kinds of people – Negative, positive, funny, mean, flaky, deceitful, sweet… I’m sure you have plenty more to add to that list. My struggle has been to not let other peoples’ attitude and perceptions influence the way I live my life. You can’t control anyone else or make them see from your perspective. I’ve wasted a lot more energy than I should have over the years just trying to teach people I care about how to be positive or trying to help them see it my way. Needless to say, it’s frustrating when people just brush off your advice. So I’m going to share a little bit of advice based on my experience (and maybe I’ll be able to take my own advice if I share it often enough).
Each person has their own set of experiences which has shaped their perspective. Don’t waste your time giving advice to negative people. They’re so use to seeing things in a negative way that it’ll go right over their head. It’s like trying to show a person a diamond ring in a room full of smoke. They’ll be able to see that it’s pretty but until the smoke is gone they won’t be able to see its full beauty, and until they try it on themselves they won’t really feel like it could belong to them.
The best way to help someone else to become a better person is to focus on bettering yourself. You’re really the only person that you can control. Other people will see how happy you are and naturally want that as well. Every person is ultimately looking to be happy, it’s up to them to decide to obtain that lifestyle for themselves.
Today wasn’t a very good day. I tend to ignore my negative feelings until they build up and then eventually I crack open and all my emotions come spilling out. This isn’t a healthy way of dealing with my feelings I realize, but usually by the time I realize something has been bothering me I’m crying and thinking about the top ten current emotional events in my life. So by encouraging you to be positive and happy, I’m not saying to ignore all emotion other than happiness until you feel it all at once. Acknowledge when something upsets you right when you notice it, and handle it right then. You’ll let it go sooner than if you’ve been holding onto it for a while.
Just remember, everyday I beautiful and it will be over so quickly so enjoy it and make the most of it. Every second is precious and then it’s gone except in your own memory. Focus on making every second as special, happy, and memorable as possible. Don’t overlook the beauty while focusing on the negativity. If you learn one thing from my late night ramblings here is just to appreciate and love every day and every person who makes up your day.
I find it so amazing the way that kids view life. My niece in particular is the child that I’m really impressed with. I learn new things from her all the time. She really lives in the moment and enjoys everything beautiful around while still having ideas and visions for the future. No matter what is going on with the adults in her life, she always takes everything in stride and chooses not to notice or think about the bad things going on. Today was her birthday and even though her parents couldn’t be there, she had a blast. She thanked everyone so many times for even the small things we did for her.
I want to be like her. I want to always be thankful for my life and for those in it. I don’t want to notice or give the negative things of life too much thought when there are so many blessings all around me. I’ve noticed that the more you notice your blessings and give thanks for them, the blessings just multiply. I don’t believe that God only blesses certain people and that bad things always happen to certain people for a reason. I believe that there is both in everyone’s lives and we have a choice of which ones to give our attention to. If we dwell on the bad things, the bad things will not only multiply but they’ll control us and the way we live.
One of the most important things I think a person can learn from life is to thankful for even the things that seem small and when bad things do come along to not give them your energy and attention. Remember my 6 year old niece the next time you start to stress and dwell on the things that just really won’t matter in the big picture. Thank God (or whoever you choose to thank) for everything and everyone that you have.
Friends truly add color to life. They make you realize that someone else can understand you and yet be so different from you at the same time. They can remind you that you aren’t alone. But I’ve learned that sometimes in the midst of your hardships you don’t always have your friends to help you through. Those are the times when you really learn what you’re made of. You can sort of be your own best friend and encourage yourself with positive things or find an outlet like a sport or music. Then when you do have your friends around you, you won’t be that needy friend that has to be validated. The encouragement from your friends will help but it won’t be the only thing keeping you going. You’ll see that it’ll become easier to stand on your own, and you’ll be able to be there for your friends as well.
Just a thought. ~ Samantha
Change is such a common topic of thought.. among people of all different ages. When you’re young, there are so many exciting changes. You get excited about growing taller or going into a new grade in school. When I was little I remember moving away from my best friend who was also my next door neighbor right before I went to kindergarten. I was heartbroken and missed her for years. But that didn’t stop me from making new friends and loving my new home. I accepted the change pretty quickly and it soon became a part of me.
Change seems to scare a lot of people. I guess it’s the thought that you or other people may forget what once was. Or it could be the fear of the unknown. The fear that whatever is to come next won’t be as great as what once was. In high school I went to a boarding school. When some of my best friends who were older graduated or transferred to different schools, I cried and cried. I felt like it was the worse thing that could happen to me (yeah I know, typical teenage melodrama). I knew things would never be the way they once were and that can be such a hard concept to grasp. It scares and depresses so many people and makes them hate change.
I’ve learned so much from losing friends and moving on over the years. After graduating, I was a little depressed because I knew I was leaving that life behind. Eventually I saw that I was embarking on a whole new journey. I love what the song Closing Time by Semisonic says, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end”. (Yess 90’s kids!) That’s such a good outlook to have on endings. Rather than thinking of an experience as ending, think of it as the beginning of something else.
I’m no longer scared of change. It took years to really experience change enough to realize that it isn’t a bad thing. If my parents hadn’t changed years ago, I don’t know where my family would be today. Change is natural and part of growing. If we accept it, we can focus on how to make the new just as good or better than the old.
It’s been a while since I’ve really thought about the future and how exciting it is to have the world in front of me. After graduating high school, sometimes it felt like it was the end of some huge part of my life rather than the beginning of an even bigger part of my life. My childhood seemed like a whole lifetime when I think of everything I went through from the time I was a toddler all the way through to the end of high school. I’m the type of person that feels everything, so when I think back to being a little kid I remember how I was feeling and what I was thinking rather than just what happened. I’m on the brink of this huge adventure that is going to last for the rest of my life. I’m 19, almost out of my teenage years..
I want to feel everything now, so that when I look back on my life I remember how I was feeling, what I was thinking, and not just what was happening. I don’t know how I use to take everything in so easily, I guess that’s one of the beauties of childhood. But I want to really try to take in every moment like I use to. These are the times that I’m going to look back on just like I look back on my childhood now. This isn’t the end, it’s just the beginning. It’s exciting to think about all the adventures that I’m going to have. If my childhood was great, just think how amazing my adult like will be. As long as I choose that for myself, and that’s what I want to do.
“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”
I really like to stick to the positive posts as much as possible. But I still have to be real with you. So this is me writing about what’s on my mind, I’ll try my best to make a point rather than just venting. I really don’t understand some mentalities. I can grasp why they think the way they do and possibly what caused them to be like that, but on a personal level I just don’t get it. How can a person just take and take and never be thankful for anything. Not only that, but have the nerve to be upset when the same people who they took advantage of won’t help them this one time. It’s like none of the things you did to try to help even mattered, because all that matters now is their own problems and their own wants and needs.
I’m not sure how I would handle a situation where my child is grown up, gone down the wrong path, and needs help but uses anyone who tries to help them. I mean, literally taking peoples’ last dollar just because they feel it is owed to them. I really detest the mentality that “this world owes me something”. People who think like that often end up with really screwed up lives. Those people always try to get whatever they can out of people, thinking that it’s ok because whatever they want or need is the most important thing. They can’t see past their own small life into the lives of others who have greater needs than their own.
Now all I’m feeling is sorry for those people. A life without truly giving, is a life without love. A life without love… It would just be so helpless and pointless. That could be why they’re always trying to get everything they can out of people, because they’ve never gotten anything that really matters from life. Here I am, feeling angry that the people that I love are using people that I love. I really should just be focusing on showing them what they may have never gotten. I’m not saying that I should give them the money that they want or anything like that. But I should be giving them what they don’t even know that they need.
Everybody needs love in their life. Especially the people who use and abuse us. Those are the people who need to see love and experience what it feels like to be taken care of. You never really know someone’s whole story, so be kind and treat everyone – even strangers and those who hurt you – with love.
“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being.”
Thanks for reading.. Hope my train of thought wasn’t too bumpy. Haha This is all being written very later at night. Best of wishes! ~Samantha